The Decisive Pattern…
You are dynamic and driven and your inherent leadership qualities and determination take the forefront. You navigate through challenges with a clear focus on action and results, steering through life’s transitions with courage and clarity.
However, in your quest to maintain control and forge ahead, it's important to remember the value of pausing to acknowledge your emotional needs. Embracing this pattern doesn’t mean sidelining your feelings. Instead, it's about harnessing your natural drive to lead in a way that also honors your emotional well-being.
As you design your next chapter after parenting, remember that your ability to take decisive action is a strength, but so is your capacity to reflect and adapt. With personalized support and actionable steps, you can balance your drive with self-care, confidently unlocking new opportunities and embracing your future with both strength and grace.
Possible Careers for the Decisive Pattern
Founder of a Women's Empowerment Platform: Building a community or service that uplifts women.
Adventure Travel Guide Company Owner: Leading tours that challenge and inspire.
Tech Startup CEO: Focusing on solutions for women's health and wellness.
Political Campaign Manager: Championing female candidates and women's rights issues.
Executive Producer: Creating content that tells the stories of powerful women.
Innovation Consultant: Helping businesses implement forward-thinking practices.
Angel Investor for Women-Led Startups: Providing capital and mentorship.
Sustainability Advocate: Leading initiatives for a greener planet.
Women's Health Clinic Director: Offering holistic and innovative healthcare.
Diversity and Inclusion Officer: Shaping more inclusive workplaces.
Fashion Brand Founder: With a focus on ethical practices.
Women's Rights Lawyer: Fighting for justice and equality.
High-Performance Coach for Women: Focusing on personal and professional growth.
Public Policy Advisor: Specializing in policies that support women and families.
Philanthropy Director: Focusing on grants and programs that support women's issues.
Understanding the Decisive Pattern is about confronting the truths behind your actions. This isn’t about confining you within a category; it’s about illuminating the instinctive reactions that surface when pressures mount. Consider this not just a label, but a powerful tool for deepening your self-awareness.
This journey invites commitment and clarity. It’s about slicing through the confusion that may have blurred your decisions and relationships. Recognizing your Decisive Pattern serves as a personal GPS in a world brimming with distractions, guiding you back to your purpose.
Continue reading to dive into an exploration of the Decisive Pattern with straightforward strategies for your personal growth. Embrace this chance to grow, refine, and redefine what purpose means to you.
The Gifts of the Decisive Pattern
Assertive, decisive, confident, and goal-oriented
Emanate a sense of confidence and determination
Masters of strategy – life organized by goals and achievements
Influential
Keenly aware of the dynamics of power and control
Effective communicators, persuasive
Excellent at mobilizing resources and people towards a common goal
Focused on efficiency – both in terms of time and resources
Strong left-brain functioning, high logical and analytical intelligence
Quick to identify solutions and address challenges
How the Decisive Pattern might show itself …
You feel restless or frustrated when not in control of a situation.
You fear being seen as weak or ineffective.
Thoughts like, “I must always be the strongest” or “I can't show vulnerability” might dominate.
You may struggle with delegating tasks, feeling you can do it better yourself.
Your focus is often on results and efficiency, sometimes overlooking others' feelings.
You work hard to maintain a position of authority or respect.
You might find yourself in the role of the challenger more often than the collaborator.
You have a strong inner drive for success.
You can be assertive, sometimes to the point of being perceived as aggressive.
You place high trust in your abilities and decisions.
Where did the Decisive Pattern come from?
The Decisive Pattern likely developed during a phase in your life when you were striving to assert your independence and control, yet faced challenges or resistance. This could have been a time when you felt your abilities or authority were questioned, leading to a deep-seated need to prove yourself and establish dominance.
Your sequence might have been:
I assert myself → I face resistance or challenge → I double down on control → I feel more isolated or misunderstood.
This need-for-control sequence can arise for various reasons. Perhaps you were in an environment where assertiveness was necessary for recognition or survival. Maybe you faced situations where showing vulnerability was seen as a weakness. It's also possible that early successes reinforced a belief that control and dominance were the only ways to achieve goals. Emotional suppression might have been a coping mechanism in response to these challenges.
As a result, you may have developed a defensive action where your focus turned to controlling your environment and outcomes. This is a defense mechanism to shield against perceived vulnerability or failure, reinforcing a pattern of assertiveness and dominance in the pursuit of success and recognition.
I’m right there with you…
Like you, I've navigated numerous life transitions as a military spouse, constantly adapting to new circumstances and communities. These experiences have fueled my dedication to ensure that no one feels isolated as they discover new paths in life.
Now in my 50s, I am embarking on a fresh journey myself, returning to school to earn a degree in counseling. This step is part of my ongoing quest to redefine my identity beyond my roles as a parent and partner, and to engage deeply with what truly excites me now.
I understand the desire for a life that's not only fulfilling but also exciting and meaningful—especially at this stage. It's about crafting a vibrant, fulfilling next chapter, rich with adventures, personal growth, and connections that we perhaps never had the time or space to explore before.
Join me in this journey of rediscovery and transformation. Together, we can embrace the possibilities that await us in our next chapter, driven by our newfound passions and a clearer understanding of our purpose.
Recognizing when you are in a Decisive Pattern
Identifying when your Decisive Pattern is a key step in enhancing self-awareness. You may find yourself dominating discussions, making decisions independently, or showing impatience with collaborative efforts. Often, there's a deep-seated belief that your worth is linked to your achievements or ability to control situations, fueling a relentless pursuit of success. It's as though you're clad in armor crafted from your accomplishments and resilience, skilled in exerting control to sustain your influence—sometimes at the cost of meaningful relationships and deeper understanding.
Recognizing these tendencies allows you to start dismantling this metaphorical armor. It opens the door to cultivating richer connections and gaining a fuller, more compassionate understanding of yourself and others. By acknowledging these patterns, you empower yourself to choose how you engage with the world, ensuring your actions align more closely with your true purpose and the life you aspire to lead.
Personal Growth in a Decisive Pattern
Embarking on personal growth within the Decisive Pattern means consciously shifting from exerting external control to engaging in internal reflection. Begin by valuing the perspectives of others and welcoming collaborative decision-making. This journey involves showing vulnerability and considering the wider impact of your actions. Engage in mindfulness or reflective practices to delve into your underlying motivations and concerns. As you cultivate a balanced approach to leadership and control, you’ll find the urge to dominate diminishes, replaced by an appreciation for shared achievements and the collective wisdom.
Transforming the Decisive Pattern
The process of transforming the Decisive Pattern can be compared to tempering steel—it's about discovering strength in flexibility and resilience. This transformation demands patience, heightened self-awareness, and the bravery to adopt new ways of interacting with the world. Engage in activities that encourage reliance on others and foster relationships built on mutual respect and understanding. As you harmonize your assertive traits with empathy and teamwork, you will uncover a more comprehensive approach to leadership and personal fulfillment. This transformation isn’t about diminishing your drive but enriching it with a deeper sense of connection and purpose, paving the way to a life characterized by meaningful success and genuine relationships.
Feeling lost now that your kids are grown? Well mama, there is a whole lot of time between 40 and finished!
IT'S TIME TO PUT YOURSELF ON THE PRIORITY LIST.
Navigating your next steps after the kids are grown can be hard. That's where I step in. Think of me as your guide, someone who gets that sometimes, the very success that propelled you in your career seems a world away when you have been focused on everyone else but you.
Let's embark on this journey together to clear the fog. I'll help you spot those hidden triggers, the ones that sneak up on you and keep you stuck. Understanding is power, and with it, you can start to shift from reactive to proactive, from anxious to secure and thriving in your purpose.
I'm here to show you how to break free from those survival patterns that cloud your motherhood and sense of self. We'll work on healing at the core, so you can both step into the present—into a calmer, more connected way of being. You've got a wealth of resources and resilience within you. Let's tap into that and make your second act one that’s full of life and purpose!